The 5 secrets to a relationship

Now I know.
I know what all people want to know and I am going to tell you without asking for a credit card number or a email address.
There is a life long secret and I am going to share it with you today.
I am not an expert, but I am a man that has taken the time to think long and hard about one thing that has perplexed us for ever.
Ok ok ok so what is the secret?………..

I have figured out secret to a successful relationship.

The information that I am going to enlighten you with will change your life and help you understand relationships, love and marriage better.

The secret is not really just one secret but it is several secrets, that brought together will give you the ultimate blueprint to a successful relationship.

The relationship blueprint has 5 rooms. Each of the 5 rooms is as important as the other room, without each room being filled with love and willingness the blueprint has no foundation.

Each of these secrets/rooms are in no particular order but as mentioned before all equally important.

The first room is Communication. Being able to communicate in a rational, calm, smart, non condescending way a amazing asset in a relationship. Communication is so amazing because what we say we should mean and what we mean we should say. Communication not only allows one to speak and tell, but it also allow you to ask questions and then shut up, thus increasing your understanding of the situation. When you use communication as a tool to build a relationship you will stimulate your mind. People yearn to communicate, look at all the mediums, cell phones, text messaging, instant messages, telephones, and computers. Denying yourself healthy communication will be detrimental to your foundation that you are attempting to build for the relationship blueprint.

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Another important room is Honesty. Some people will call the honesty room the keeping it real room. Honesty is all about being upfront and communicating in a healthy and caring way. There is absolutely no way to be able to communicate effectively if you are not honest with your partner. When you impart your honesty with someone you are opening up a gateway to your mind body and soul. By being honest you are creating a safe place for your partner. When your partner feels that you are being honest with them they they become at ease, remember you have opened the gateway to your mind body and soul and partner can see that. People appreciate complete openness. Honesty and communication work hand in hand and without one or the other, the foundation of the blueprint will never be stable enough for you to build on.

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship. Proverbs 24:26

The third room is Trust. When you have trust in a relationship you are truly giving all of you. To be able to trust someone takes effort and time. See we tend not to trust as quickly because we have been burned, disrespected and lied to at some point in our life. The trust could have been destroyed by a family member, an ex, a friend or a co-worker. Trust has a lot to do with feelings and emotions. As we know feelings and emotions are not easy to control and are not based on tangible things, yet solely based on life. Gaining and giving ones trust takes work and might be the most fragile of all of the rooms.
Trust is helped out by communication and honesty. Being able to communicate effectively and being honest to a fault will allow for trust to flourish. I mentioned before you must create a safe place for love to grow and flourish. I cannot tell you how to trust or to give trust, but I can tell you that being able to trust is paramount in a creating a successful blueprint.

To be loved is a greater compliment than being loved. George MacDonald

The fourth room is the room of passion or simply a Healthy Sex Life. I will leave this one up to interpretation. This room can be called the bedroom or the room with the view of paradise. Now I am not going to go into detail, but I will explain on how the previous 3 rooms will assist you in achieving this very important part of the foundation. If you cannot be honest with your partner when it comes to sex then you are not creating a effective place for communication to flourish and thus you have no trust. You should be able to communicate anything to your partner while building the trust and honesty in your relationship. If there is no trust then there simply is no communication and if you cannot communicate how can you be honest. There is no room here for mistakes. You might only get one chance to be honest, you might only get one chance to give trust, don’t waste that chance by not being able to communicate.

Great food is like great sex, the more you have the more you want. Gael Greene

Compromise is the final room left on the blueprint. By this point the word compromise should pull all the pieces of the puzzle together. Next to trust compromise is a battle. When we compromise you feel that we are giving yourself. You are scared that the other person is not going to compromise or give back. Why do you compromise? Do you compromise to get what you want or do you compromise because you can. Giving without wanting is one of the greatest gifts we can give to anyone. When you compromise it should not be to get something in return, it should be to give for the sake of giving.
I know it might be difficult to comprehend, but when you compromise or give the sheer generosity is amazing! When the other person can feel that you are able to communicate, trust and be honest with them and you are willing to compromise yourself for them with no thought of receiving the outcome is unbelievable. Now because you are human you want gratitude and that, with the right partner, will be shown in the same way. We feel that compromise is giving up when in actuality compromise is simply giving.

Compromise is not the spice of life, it is solidity, It is what makes nations great and marriages happy. Unknown Author

So there you have it.
The five things that make a relationship work.

Trust
Honesty
Compromise
Healthy sex
Communication

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 18th, 2007 at 9:27 pm and is filed under Goals, Personal Growth, LOA, Success. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.